You’re allowed to feel all of your feelings.
like a pounding heart and shortness of breath. Trying to ignore these feelings or castigate yourself for having them can simply make these emotions stronger, Dr. Beresin says, which can result in a vicious cycle.
When spending time with your family feels like entering a lion’s den, it’s important to remember why you’re worthy of love and respect. “Just having that list there regardless of what anyone says is helpful,” Warner-Cohen says. Don’t only keep the list in your head, since you might blank on it when you get upset. Write it down or put it on your phone so you can call it up as needed.
7. Have an excuse ready when you need to escape, and consider bringing younger family members with you. “You don’t want them to see family as being a war zone,” he explains. “When it comes to the people you care about, you have to make those decisions of, ‘Am I going to make conflict, or will I show them a new way of doing things?’ So, you can take your younger family members and say, ‘Let’s go watch a movie, let’s go play Scrabble.’” It gets you away from drama and may even help end familial cycles of conflict.
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