If you’ve ever experienced trauma, you’ll find being called resilient a little bit off putting or insensitive. It seems to suggest your willpower and ability as an overcomer is why you survived dismissing the struggle it took to get there.
A lot of things happen that are out of your control. Bereavement, job loss, divorce, abuse, natural disaster, big life change or anything that shakes your world can create trauma. Trauma is really anything that overwhelms your nervous system and ability to cope with day to day life. It’s when you go outside your window of tolerance leading to emotional dysregulation. It can look different for everyone, and it’s important not to compare traumas.
Trauma-related growth is known by some as “post-traumatic growth.” Post-traumatic growth is a phenomenon when you bounce back from adversity with a positive transformation. That type of resilience is unique.said she knew someone who knew two holocaust survivors. One of them said “It’s indecent and insane to ever be happy again.” The other said, “It’s indecent and insane to never be happy again.” She says most have the positive perspective.
His studies reveal the same 5 elements of growth people experience in post-traumatic growth. They are as follows: When you go through any difficult time, you learn who you can lean on. Practicing vulnerability and openness about your experiences leads to deeper conversations and better companionship. However, it may also mean that you walk away from certain people who do not show up for you.
If you are an expert companion, know that listening and holding space for someone is more valuable than simply trying to solve their problems. Emotions and pain don’t need to be fixed. They need to be given space to exist. You don’t have to be a life coach; you just need to be a good listener. When you love yourself, anything is possible. The world opens up to you in a different way. You’ve gotten yourself this far. Give yourself some grace and self-forgiveness for having struggled.
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