'I just wanted to share and hopefully make people feel a little less alone': Meghan McCain shares personal stories in the new audio book 'Bad Republican.'
I was really proud of the fact that I had made it back to the show because I had such a hard time, just physically. I had an emergency C-section, and then I had postpartum preeclampsia. And I was in the hospital for a week on a magnesium drip, and then when I went home I had a really hard time, physically – taking care of myself, walking up stairs. I had extremely high blood pressure.
And then this moment ... I was just deeply humiliated and heartbroken, and I felt really worthless. I felt like I was like not being a great mom, and I was also not being great at my job. And then countered with what I was going through with postpartum anxiety, I had a panic attack in my office, and I threw up, and I couldn't stop crying, and it just was the catalyst for the end for me. That it was when I decided I was leaving the show. I'm not angry at her. I have no ill will.
With Joy, if I saw her, I would be friendly, I don't know if she would be friendly to me back. I really have no ill will. I understand that they're probably gonna be pissed off about some of the things I'm sharing, but I was pissed off at a lot of things that were shared about me that were personal and private during the time that I was there that just felt like rampant fodder for gossip sites.
But at the end of the day, I do have respect for Joy and what she does and the fact that she's been on"The View" for 25 years. She, too, is an American television icon, and I really have no ill will towards any of them. I wish them all success and love and light, I know the show's going to go on to be incredible and they're gonna find somebody amazing to replace me. I'm really grateful for the experience.