I think about how I desired suffering for me, even when it cost me dearly, so long as I could lay the blame for it at the doors of the Protestant community or the British
“If that doesn’t let up, Adrian, I’m telling you,” Mummy says, “you’re not going anywhere this day!”
Then, one day, my 12-year-old daughter asks me why I speak Japanese and French, and I explain about the Japanese-French couple and the influence they had on my life – how I had studied Japanese and French and how I had lived in Japan and France and got a PhD in Japanese and a degree in French and taught both languages at university. Amazed, she goes looking for the couple online. Forty-five years have passed; they’re probably dead, I think.
I think about people’s hatred and prejudice – in my case, my hatred of British soldiers and my prejudice against members of the Protestant community. I think about the irrational desire I have for suffering for members of the Protestant community in Northern Ireland, and for members of the British army – the “enemy”. Still.
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