Standing in the forest, you feel the money gently draining out of your bank account. The kids, however, relished the trip
Center Parc's Subtropical Swimming Paradise resembles the departures terminal of a Nordic airport but you will find a sort of aquatic utopia insideThe thing about going on holiday with small children is that you should not go on holiday with small children. If you do go on holiday with small children, you will find yourself engaged in an arduous enterprise that a friend of mine calls “parenting with fewer resources”.
On Day Two we participate in something called Den Building. In a clearing in the woods, we prop logs against other logs to make a primitive little hut, while other families, with older, abler children, do the same. Day Three: we take the kids to something called the Off-Road Explorers. The experience very much happens on a road. The kids get into cute little jeeps and attempt to drive around a cute little track. Attempt is the operative word. My daughter crashes into a tree. “The axle’s come off,” says the nice woman who runs the Off-Road Explorers. She seems unworried, and equips my daughter with another cute little jeep.
Ah, Subtropical Swimming Paradise. Viewed from without, it resembles the departures terminal of a Nordic airport, all brushed steel and swooping atrial glass. Within, however, you will find a sort of aquatic utopia. Families, families, as far as the eye can see. Observe the hirsute dad bods, as they Daniel Craig their way through the shallow wavelets. Observe the patient mums, as they huff into the clear plastic valves of a hundred inflatable ring-shaped monkeys.
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