A week with San Marino - the worst international football team in the world

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A week with San Marino - the worst international football team in the world
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San Marino, a tiny European republic of less than 34,000 people, is winless in 129 straight matches. They're the worst national team in the world. But for their people, pride endures.

. Neither happened and Taylor, whose head had already been superimposed onto a turnip in The Sun, bore a nation’s fury. Rather innocently, Gualtieri went almost 20 years without realising England’s manager resigned a week later.federation to commemorate the goal. The football federation put up a plaque in his honour. The 30th anniversary is later this year and he mentions that he might design his own T-shirt to mark the event.

Not that anyone seems too surprised by the sheer absence of people. Fabrizio Costantini, the manager of San Marino, wears a seen-it-all-before expression. If he is put out, he hides it well. More likely, this is just the norm. Costantini is 55. He has a heck of a tan, piercing eyes and a wispy back-to-front combover that you imagine would be the subject of much discussion if he was managing in England. It is also striking how confident he sounds. Managers are paid to make positive soundbites, of course, but this guy really sounds like he believes it.

But the thought also occurs, watching his players training in the late-afternoon sunshine, that they don’t look as bumbling or hopeless as some people might expect. Somehow, I had imagined it might be a downcast bunch, confidence shot to pieces.coach, used to say about a terrible losing streak being the same as a series of minor heart attacks. “You can survive them,” he’d say. “But there’s always scar tissue.

This, in the past, has involved a dentist, an accountant, a chemist, a graphic designer and two brothers who ran a bar called Funivia, known locally for its annual ping-pong tournament. And, daft as it might sound, there were fleeting moments when the players of San Marino made it feel like Costantini’s pre-match optimism might have been well-founded after all.

After 37 minutes, an innocuous cross came in from the right. Manuel Battistini, San Marino’s captain, made a pig’s ear of clearing the danger. The ball was lashed in by Kazakhstan’s grateful Yan Vorogovskiy and the balloon of optimism was punctured. “This is so frustrating and so unfair,” came Bastianelli’s update via Twitter. “I hate everything.”

Daniele Dei, one of the group’s members, has been kind enough to send me a list of the chants — “Come on, Titan, score us a goal, hey, hey” — that can be heard at San Marino’s fixtures. The group, he explains, was set up 11 years ago by another Italian, Massimo Visemoli, who used to drive two and a half hours to games from Salvaterra and could not believe how flat the atmosphere was.

Does beer play a part? One of Brigata Mai 1 Gioia’s posters shows a cartoon figure with a pint in one hand and their adopted country’s flag over his shoulder. “Le sconfitte non fermeranno la nostra setei,” it says. Translation: “The defeats won’t stop our thirst.” Tonight, the players will leave their training base at Collecchio, just outside Parma, and head to the airport for their next assignment. The opposition will beat Helsinki’s Olympic stadium. And we all know what will happen: another defeat, another reminder of their place at the bottom of the pile. Game 130 without a win.

He even acts as the interpreter when Andy Selva offers his perspective as, by some distance, the most prolific scorer San Marino has ever had.

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