Two young adults share their struggles with overbearing parents, discussing curfews, independence, and relationship issues.
'They insist on knowing where I am at all times and picking me up - I’ve all but stopped going out now in the evening, it just isn’t worth the conflict with my parents'They also expect me to be home by 11pm.
Even when I do go out, they still insist on picking me up afterwards, even though they know I find it embarrassing. I’ve all but stopped going out now in the evening, it just isn’t worth the conflict with myCurfews are one thing, but being collected from outings by your parents is treating you like a child and must be deeply embarrassing.
It’s clear that they care for you very much but they’re now holding you back so it’s time for a calm but firm conversation with them. Say you appreciate their concern but, as an adult, you need space to develop independence and friendships like the other students your age. As you’re sharing a home with them it’s only reasonable that they should have a rough idea when to expect you home so should be possible to negotiate a middle ground.
I imagine that your parents are simply deeply concerned for your safety and welfare, but they need to learn to trust you. If you had left home to go into college or shared accommodation they wouldn’t be able to exert this level of control so, if they refuse to budge, this might be something for you to think about! My boyfriend says he loves me, but I’m starting to doubt it.
He won’t stop talking about his ex-girlfriend – how pretty she was, how smart she was and how much she loved him. I’ve told him many times that I don’t like it and asked him to stop, but he carries on regardless. JENNIFER SAYS You’ve already made it clear repeatedly that his constant comparisons are not wanted and that you want him to stop. By constantly placing his ex at the centre of your relationship he’s being disrespectful and hurtful.
This is not the behaviour of someone who genuinely wants a committed and meaningful relationship with you. The time has come for a direct ultimatum, not a request, so make it clear that if he continues, you’ll have no choice but to consider whether this relationship is right for you.
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