I encouraged my wife not to be too judgmental about her late mother.
Often, readers reply to dilemmas posed in my column in ways that are helpful, useful and inspiring. Today’s column is devoted to some of these replies. As always, I’m grateful for readers who share their own stories.Responding to questions about DNA disclosures, my wife found out that her father was not her biological parent when she had her DNA analyzed by a family historical research company.My wife has been more hurt from finding out this way, as opposed to being told by her mother.
Her two brothers also took DNA tests; it turned out that her older brother was also fathered by another man. I’ve told my wife it is possible that her mother did not know exactly who had fathered her children, so it’s best not to be too judgmental about all of this. To me it sounds like she was a very unhappy woman, and she may have been looking for love in all the wrong places.Embracing Answers“To Tell or Not” wonderedI had been divorced for five years when I went on a first date with a man I had just met.
On our way to the restaurant, we were stuck in traffic behind a car with a bumper sticker that said “Help Stamp Out Child Abuse.”I thought for a moment before answering and said, “I suppose the car belongs to someone like me who was molested as a child.”I knew from his instantly shocked reaction that this was a man with whom my children would be safe, and he has been — for 37 years now.What he says and does next will tell her exactly what she needs to know.
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