Do you have any advice for this reader, who is struggling to deal with her boyfriend's changing behavior after her weight loss
When I met my boyfriend two years ago, I wasn’t in a good place. I’d not long lost my dad and was very sad and depressed, and took to comfort eating in a big way. Then I met my boyfriend, who was really kind and supportive — so over the past two years, I’ve lost almost three stone in weight.
I really don’t understand why he’s behaving like this. There was a time not so long ago when we talked about getting married, but now I am not so sure it’s a good idea.JENNIFER SAYS: When you met your boyfriend, you were seemingly in a weaker position, an unhappy person who needed help and support. He was the strong one and able to provide this — and I suspect he enjoyed that feeling of power and control.
If you want this relationship to have a future, the two of you really need to talk. Explain how you feel and, if you do still have feelings for him, make sure he understands this, and perhaps get him to see that his love and support have helped you reach this stage.If he still loves and cares for you, then hopefully this will spur him into adjusting his behaviour.
When I mentioned this to a friend, she got really excited and asked me if I would child-mind for her. I was so surprised that, not knowing what else to say, I said I would think about it. The problem is, she seems to have taken that to mean I’ve agreed to do it. Frankly though, as much as I love my three, I’ve had enough of looking after children and I want a different challenge now, even a career perhaps.
I don’t think there’s much you can do to soften the blow, so you’ll just have to tell her that you can’t do it. Explain that it was never your intention to look after children, and like her, you want to return to a career of some sort.
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