This week, three Star Chic readers ask the resident agony aunt how to deal with an unhappy sister-in-law, a husband who has just found out his daughter is not his and feeling lonely after a divorce
WHY IS SISTER-IN-LAW SO AGAINST ME? I married a wonderful man two years ago, but my happiness is being ruined by his sister.
It seems my sister-in-law tells everyone that I am not good enough for her brother and that our marriage is not a good one. Which is choice because I also know that she and her husband are not in a good place because he has a gambling problem. Unfortunately, it soon led to a massive row in which we ended up screaming at each other, which wasn’t what I wanted, and it hasn’t solved anything.
I am not suggesting there was anything other than a normal brother/sister relationship between them, but it’s possible that her brother was her main source of support through what seems to be a difficult marriage. Now that he is devoting more of his time to you, as he should, she might resent this too. Whatever her reasons, her behaviour is unacceptable.
Finally, please don’t feel guilty about what has happened. There is nothing wrong with being in a happy relationship, whatever anybody else thinks. Apparently, it happened when I was on a long business trip in the Middle East. She won’t say who the father is, and I can’t even get her to explain why she felt the need to tell me now.
She’s known nothing but you as her father for the past seven years, and she will be confused and hurt if you start behaving differently now. She may not have your genes, but you have been, and still are, her father. There’s a lot more to fatherhood than simply providing sperm. I have lost contact with any friends I had from my time at school or college, as they couldn’t stand my husband.
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