After all, a wedding can (and should!) be anything you want it to be.
, passing by droves of teen schoolgirls on class trips, all with the same tint of maraschino-cherry lips.Photo: Courtesy of Lisa Wong MacabascoLunch, a hearty seafood stew, was served from gurgling cauldrons; snack was puffed-rice rolls and exquisite oranges, for which the island is renowned, from the bride’s grandmother’s garden. Dinner was a delectable tableside BBQ of Jeju’s.
At the ceremony the following day, however, it was soon clear this would not be just another destination wedding. The unexpected presence of dry-ice smoke was the first sign, spewing forth from under the officiant’s lectern as the bride walked down the aisle. The couple had intended the ceremony to be a mix of American and Korean customs. Guests were clad in a mix of beautifuland T-shirts and sneakers. Bridesmaids sobbed volubly during the vows.
Before the big day, the bride had explained to us that wedding receptions in Korea were much less formal affairs where guests were welcome to drop by anytime during a set period. Weddings used to be village celebrations instead of private events, so nearly anyone from the family’s community is invited; it’s not uncommon for hundreds of guests to cycle through. The couple said they were obligated to greet all the guests stopping by throughout the day but that we Americans didn’t have to stay.
All these memories are so clear and potent to me, far more than those of any other wedding I attended, I suspect because the experience was so unorthodox. There was no knee-jerk fidelity to things done at other weddings, no wedding planner hissing into a headset, no overcooked meat and limp vegetables for dinner, no photo booth; our friends cherry-picked the customs they wanted from American and Korean weddings and were open to things turning out completely different from what they expected.
The result was different too: We ended up growing close with the other guests, who we hadn’t known well or at all prior. A number of them have since become our fondest friends. Sometimes I don’t even think of it as a wedding at all but the loveliest friends’ getaway, a group adventure full of laughter and sometimes mild confusion. It’s a camaraderie I’ll remember long after many other wedding memories fade.After all, a wedding can be anything you want it to be.
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