Despite a lifetime of searching, I have reached the conclusion that I don’t have a special useful talent.
As a precocious youngster, I saw myself as an actor but, despite not being terrible, I soon realised that, with a serious lack of good looks, coupled with an average stage presence, the best I could hope for would be an appearance in a telly advert for oven chips. I could sing a bit too but then puberty intervened, meaning I have sounded like one of The Muppets ever since.
Although there are things that I am quite good at I’m pretty certain that my name won’t appear in any hall of fame, anywhere. For anything. Unless, there is a society that I have yet to discover, which celebrates the art of losing stuff. I am a leading expert at misplacing most of my possessions and the one item I lose more than any other is my mobile phone with the most recent incident occurring on a local municipal playing field.
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