Better than anyone else, the sex toy industry should know that genitals don't equal gender.
shop, in person or online, can be a dizzying experience. There are hundreds of different toys—different brands, different shapes, different materials, different moving parts—and it can be hard to figure out how each of them is supposed to stimulate your biz. The sex tech industry almost universally organizes toys by gender, with very clearly delineated men’s and women’s sections.the industry itself.
If you buy something using links in our stories, we may earn a commission. This helps support our journalism.Making distinctions along gender lines might’ve made sense a hundred years ago, but it's 2022. We all know that there are men who have vulvas and women who have phalluses, and that there are people who don’t identify with the gender binary at all. They have genitals, and also like to buss it down sexual style.
A sex toy doesn’t just get you off. They can be tools that you use to explore your body and find out what feels good to you. They can help you see yourself in a different light, or reclaim your personal agency. Testing new sex tech has helped me appreciate my body instead of hating the things about it that I can’t change. It makes me sad to think of other people being deprived of those experiences because companies are invested in upholding outdated gender norms.
But making and promoting heavily gendered toys mainstream skips a crucial step. Dispelling the social taboos around sex means you also have to deconstruct what gender means in a sexual and social context. By using gendered language and labels on sex toys, these companies aren’t just adhering to anatomically inaccurate and trans-exclusionary ideas like “all men have penises” and “all women have vaginas.” They’re actively reinforcing them.
That’s especially harmful to trans, nonbinary, gender fluid, and gender nonconforming people who already have to navigate a world that reminds us every single day that we are not a consideration, we are, and we are an inconvenience.
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