When a doctor came out carrying the green whistle, only seen after the worst of rugby tackles, I knew it was bad
Brianna Parkins: I decided I didn’t care how long it was, as long as they gave me pain relief. Photograph: Daria Nipot/iStock
Realising there was a language barrier, I tried to mime the above in the world’s least graceful interpretive dance. But I shouldn’t have worried, because once the violent puking kicked in he got the message.The new rules: what’s in and what’s out for 2025Personally, I find it really hot when men are nice to women
I rang my boyfriend to come scrape me off the footpath and chuck me into an Uber. “Will we call an ambulance?” he asked. “Jesus, no,” I replied, partly because I suffer from the false belief that it would financially ruin me forever but mostly because I would have died from embarrassment if I’d arrived with sirens and lights going off only to find out it was a bad sprain.
We were triaged in five minutes. “Ahhh nuar whaddya done t’yaself?” the friendly nurse asked before immediately asking for Penthrox. .
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