Calling out of the blue: Why would you do this to someone you love? In the age of texting and DMs, a phone ring can sound like bad news. “My mom will call me at 4 o’clock in the afternoon, and my first assumption is, ‘Oh, my grandma died.’” says Eric, 35.
“I’ve actually changed my ringtone a few times, because I start to associate it with terror,” says Barich, a 24-year-old California woman who works in marketing. “But every time that I do, after, like, a week or so, it just becomes terrifying again.”“I feel anxiety. I stiffen up. I also kind of make myself pretend that I didn’t see it,” she says. “And nine times out of 10, I’m not going to answer it.
When he does hear that miserable noise, it sets off a cascade of split-second deliberations: “Do I really want to deal with this person right now? Do I have an excuse?” If texts are precision missiles, phone calls can feel like hot-air balloons drifting without a destination. . “It’s a disturbance. I’m being taken out of my moment, my safe space,” she says. “Back in the day, we didn’t have the resources to be prepared for everything. We went with the flow. Now we’re so used to planning out everything. We don’t like surprises.”Munds’s phone is usually set to silent or vibrate, but she recently changed her ringtone to “Moonlight Sonata.”Spam has taken over our phones.
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