I am deeply hurt that he still thinks I’m imagining things and doesn’t have my back.
What should I do? Should I drop it or give him an ultimatum -- either confront the friend or I leave?Your husband doesn’t think you are imagining things. For him to make that accusation is called “gaslighting.” He prefers to avoid a confrontation with his best friend rather than defend you because the friendship is more important to him than your feelings. From where I sit, that doesn’t make your husband much of a man.
You might benefit from counseling to get beyond this. Has it occurred to you that YOU should speak up and demand an apology from the “friend”? If you were being serious when you stated that if your husband won’t confront this person, you will leave him, allow me to offer a word of caution: Do NOT issue an ultimatum upon which you are not prepared to follow through.I have been married to a wonderful woman for 29 years.
For a while, this worked well. However, my feelings for men grew stronger, and trying to hide from my true self became much harder. Now I can’t stop thinking about being with a man. I have even signed up for a dating site and flirted with a few men, although I have never met any of them in person because I don’t want to cheat on my wife. I don’t know if I should tell her I’m gay and want to date men, or if I should continue suppressing my feelings for the sake of my family. Please help.
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