Dear Abby advises a woman who can’t stand living with her boyfriend’s racist father, and a woman whose mother-in-law constantly puts down her looks.
I live with my boyfriend and his father. I moved in two years ago to help them pay bills so they could keep living in the house my boyfriend grew up in. But the situation has become unlivable.
My boyfriend’s father is rude, racist and self-centered. It doesn’t matter that we are struggling; he goes out and spends all his money on guns and fancy dinners for other relatives. Then he complains about how he’s broke and has no money to help buy things for the house. He has also raised our rent because he has “debt to the IRS,” which has literally nothing to do with me or my boyfriend.
We can’t talk to him without a big argument breaking out, and I’m at the end of my rope. It’s too expensive to move, so please, any help or advice would be much appreciated. —I hope you now realize that your boyfriend’s father isn’t going to change; his nature is fully formed. This rude, self-centered racist is. Instead of continuing to buy things for the house, pay the man his rent and start saving for another place to live. If your boyfriend can contribute to that fund, he can move with you.
Tonight at dinner, she grabbed my stomach and told me how fat I was. I adore my husband so, while she has been cruel to me, I have remained kind to her. I recently told him I would begin speaking to her the way she speaks to me. Please help. —Stop expecting your husband to run interference for you. You both should have asserted yourselves with the old biddy years ago. The next time she pipes up with a criticism, tell her you don’t like her rudeness and will no longer tolerate it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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