Dear Abby advises a woman who is still dealing with the effects of childhood trauma and a woman who lost her self-confidence and hasn’t dated after having had cancer.
When I was 13, my 10-year-old cousin let a boy we did not know well into my house. Nobody else was there with us. He told her he wanted to “make out” with me, and he came upstairs. I confronted him and told him to leave. Later on, I told my mother about the incident, thinking I would be commended on my bravery.
Shortly afterward, against my will, she insisted my aunt, a hairstylist, cut my long hair up to my chin. I sobbed during the entire ordeal. My hair had given me confidence about my looks, which I needed because I was large-chested and embarrassed at that age about it. By cutting my hair against my will, my mother made me no longer trust her and think she didn’t love me or like me.
Recently, my aunt and I had a falling-out, and I remembered she was the one who actually did the cutting. I am feeling resentment toward her after all these years. I would like parents to know that cutting a teenager’s hair at such a vulnerable stage of their development should not be a punishment. It is disrespectful and oversteps a child’s boundaries. Am I correct in my thinking? —Yes, you are. Your mother punished you for being an attractive young girl, which wasn’t your fault.
If a potential partner is interested in you as a person, they won’t be turned off by the fact that your breasts aren’t the same size. Many women are born with asymmetrical breasts and live full, happy lives. A way to get past this fear would be to open up and reach out. Another would be to talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. The only thing youDear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
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