DEAR ABBY: After 40 years of marriage, I just found out my husband has been having an emotional affair, in addition to an actual girlfriend he had 15 years ago. ...
DEAR ABBY: After 40 years of marriage, I just found out my husband has been having an emotional affair, in addition to an actual girlfriend he had 15 years ago. I forgave him the last time. This time, he has only said he is wrong, but he hasn’t offered an apology, nor is he remorseful.
How do I gain his respect? How do you convince someone how badly they have hurt you, and get them to make better choices? -- WRONGED IN DELAWARE If you want to stay married to him, put those wedding rings back on and tell him it is apparent that you two aren’t communicating with each other effectively. Tell him you want to work to improve your marriage with the help of a licensed marriage and family counselor, and make an appointment. During those sessions, it will become apparent to him that you have been deeply hurt. However, be prepared to hear some critical comments about you from him.
My life has evolved, and I feel I have grown up for the better. I would like to share those experiences with someone I considered a best friend for so long. Would it be wrong to bring up the past? How do I share with her that “the past was the past” and I want to get back to where we used to be? -- LOST FRIEND IN MISSOURI
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