Delegation From Doom Island Leaves COP26 In Protest After Failed Vote To Blow Up Sun

GLASGOW, SCOTLAND—Hissing and leaving a trail of black smoke as they stormed out of the U.N. Climate Change Conference, the delegation from Doom Island reportedly left COP26 in protest Thursday after participating nations voted 198–1 against its motion to halt global warming by blowing up the sun. “They can dismiss us…

GLASGOW, SCOTLAND—Hissing and leaving a trail of black smoke as they stormed out of the U.N. Climate Change Conference, the delegation from Doom Island reportedly left COP26 in protest Thursday after participating nations voted 198–1 against its motion to halt global warming by blowing up the sun.

“They can dismiss us as wicked or mad, but leaders like Boris Johnson and Joe Biden are fools——to dismiss the only plan put forward at this summit that, by plunging the earth into permanent darkness, would actually reverse the effects of climate change,” seethed Chancellor Nefarioso, undead ruler of the depraved and iniquitous island, who spat an acrid, noxious venom at diplomats when they spoke against his proposal to fire the world’s combined nuclear arsenals at the sun, thereby eradicating...

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