If your kid calls someone fat, you can totally salvage the moment. You’ve just got to be cool.
. When those things are about someone else’s appearance, the embarrassment factor can increase by about a zillion. When my son was younger, he told a woman we know that she was “fat, but only medium fat, not really big fat like my mom.” Luckily, I didn’t actually fall down dead, but I almost wanted to.Honestly, a tiny part of me was kind of proud. Not that he said it out loud — that part was mortifying.
To him, calling that woman fat was just a fact, almost like saying, “You’re tall, but only medium tall. Not really big tall like my dad.” To my kids, body size is neutral. It’s just another way to describe a person, like hair color or height. Kids are going to notice when people look different or when they have one very prominent characteristic. It’s normal, and while we need to help them learn the rules of socialization, we don’t have to freak out if they do some mildly humiliating shit along the way. That’s just part of this bonkers parenting ride.1. Don’t panic.
Okay, your kid called someone fat. That’s super embarrassing. We know as adults that commenting on the size of someone’s body is considered rude, so watching our kids do it makes us cringe. The good news is, as adults, we also know that kids are still learning. No reasonable adult will flip out on a parent whose kid has commented on the way they look. A kid asked me why I was “a circle” once. It didn’t hurt my feelings. It made me chuckle. I am a circle, and that was a reasonable question.
If we start approaching body differences with matter-of-fact answers, we might have a shot at making the world better for the next generation. While they’re trying to figure it out, you might suffer through an embarrassing moment or two. It’s not the best part of parenting, but it doesn’t have to be a big deal. Hang in there. Your kids are doing the best they can, and so are you.
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