Donald Clarke: Maybe Erling Haaland can’t stop himself raw dogging. But if you need a wee, go for a wee

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Donald Clarke: Maybe Erling Haaland can’t stop himself raw dogging. But if you need a wee, go for a wee
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Are we to believe that the art of staring into the void on a lengthy flight, long a bugbear of Larry David, is now a competitive sport?

Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm, among the best sitcoms of the past half-century, served, alongside other things, as an outlet for the petty irritation of Larry David, their creator. I can recall at least one example of a complaint that was delivered almost verbatim in both shows. David may not know it. But it seems he hates “raw dogging”.

This was 1997. Seven years later, David, now the star of Curb Your Enthusiasm, was apparently still seething about the same thing. His friend Jeff is, as they fly to New York, uninterested in reading a magazine or watching a film. ‘’Who can sit on a plane for five hours like that?’’ Larry yells. ‘’It’s crazy!”

There was more. “Just raw-dogged it, 15-hour flight to Melbourne,” Torren Foot, an Australian music producer, said on TikTok. “No music, no movies, just flight map.” The article claims that, in what will surely be dubbed “extreme raw dogging”, some participants refrain from exercise, food or visiting the lavatory. This is not good for you. If you need to go for a wee, go for a wee. Remaining stationary increases the risk of deep-vein thrombosis.

What’s going on with raw dogging is entirely different in tone. From what I can discern from Zen for Dummies, that philosophy is not at home to meditation as intense sport. Participants are not encouraged to yell “In your face, loser!” when they have meditated 30 minutes longer than the person on the next cushion. Raw dogging is the inflation of doing bugger all to the status of bruise-free cage fighting..

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