SavageLove: 'I like the warm feelings of love and lust I’m finally experiencing after a long time, but I am nevertheless unsatisfied with him. There are so many things that I feel he is lacking.'
Friends are there to listen, to challenge us, and to call us on our bullshit. And friends are there to be heard, to be challenged, and to be called on their bullshit. But friends aren’t pros. When it comes to the kind of trauma you experienced, ideally, we would seek help from a pro and—when we were ready for it—advice from our friends.foreverBasically, IDK, you’re looking at this guy and asking yourself, “Is he the right guy forever?” And the answer to that question is obviously.
You had a traumatic experience four years ago and haven’t dated anyone since. Easing back into sex, dating, and relationships with a nice fella who isn’t great but isn’t awful . . . yeah, that might be just what you need. NotSo, don’t move in with this guy, don’t make any promises, and don’t stay in this relationship one minute longer than you want to. When you’re ready to end it—when you’re ready to go searching for an idealized sex God—then you can and should end it.
Q: I enjoy your column and I think your advice is usually spot-on; however, your advice to TITE last week—the man who wanted to end things with his FWB—was not good. You encouraged TITE to lie to their fuck buddy by saying that their partner wants to close things up. That’s terrible advice. Not the lying, Dan, but the blaming it on the partner.
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