It doesn’t help that the watch communicates exclusively in Californian
In California last year, during a moment of weakness, I bought an Apple Watch, which has been annoying me ever since.
But despite knowing this, the watch still also insists on congratulating me for such other achievements as standing up occasionally, an event it always greets with at least as much excitement as my latest 16.1 km gallop around the Phoenix Park.Front Woman – Frank McNally on a pioneering war correspondent, Maggie HigginsIf I haven’t stood up for a while, it badgers me to do so, even if I’m busy with something important like watching a football match.
And this is somehow annoying too, partly because I’m too busy doing actual athletic activities – usually far in excess of Apple’s requirements – to be bothered finding out what the watch’s daily quota for standing or scratching myself is. I stopped long enough to watch them pass towards the bandstand, noticing it was the Norwegian flag they carried and realising – as my watch was able to confirm – that they were celebrating Norway’s national day.
Meanwhile, preparing me for another two decades of parenting anxiety, my car was parked on Merrion Square: clamper central at the time. I had to ask a nurse to hold him briefly at one point while I dashed out to feed the meter. My Apple watch was unmoved, meanwhile, apart from nagging me to “stand up and move around a bit” at one point when that would have been inappropriate. Still, its influence lingered. It was with a mixture of pride and sadness that I realised my secondary school parenting ring had just been closed, permanently.
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