Gareth Southgate's honesty and systems expertise are just what is needed at the haunted house Old Trafford has become
The England manager’s honesty and systems expertise are just what is needed at the haunted house Old Trafford has becomeGareth Southgate: he has the things Manchester United clearly lack: backbone, ruthlessness, the inability to tell a lie. Photograph: Catherine Ivill/Getty ImagesAnd so we entered the age of the noble, blameless bald men. This is a pretty good moment to be Ineos at Manchester United. Nothing really matters yet. Every problem is someone else’s problem. Every solution is your own.
Plenty of things still have to happen before it becomes a possibility. There has to be a vacancy . Southgate has to be available . Both parties have to want this to happen . Most importantly the public response needs to fall somewhere below the threshold of masked middle-aged men in tracksuits staging an Ian-Brown-walk invasion of Old Trafford.
Something profound needs to happen to move this on. Manchester United doesn’t need a brilliant tactician. It needs a systems expert, an industrial de-scaler. Essentially, it needs a shit-flusher. And Southgate is unarguably one of those, is in fact the only person out there with a recent record of doing exactly this, of taking a stalled and sclerotic football institution and turning it into a happier, lighter place.
You can almost see it already. Southgate in a press conference being stubborn and refusing to promise anything. Southgate coming on like a Lutheran minister, astringent, vinegary, disapproving. Southgate as the greatest thing that ever happened to Antony. Southgate losing heroically in the Europa League final and applauding the fans in shirtsleeves and everyone feeling husky and brave.
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