DearPrudie: As a child, I thought he was the best. But little did I know what he was up to.
I am not planning on inviting him to the wedding as I know he will be a negative presence and it will ruin my day. My mother already doesn’t speak to him, and neither does my older sister. My younger brother is close to dropping contact as well. I only see him once every six months or so, but I think I would feel guilty if I completely stopped contacting him as he is in poor health and has no friends or family to help if something happened.
You don’t have to tell him in advance and I would only do so if you were having a larger conversation about cutting off contact or setting a boundary. Otherwise, you’re just inviting conflict and recrimination into your life at a point when you’ve got enough going on already. If he doesn’t have enough compassion to ask after you or to look out for an invite, then you don’t need to go out of your way. After is fine.I recently got engaged to my wonderful fiancé.
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