Ask the Expert: She seems to be suffering from very high anxiety levels and is stressed about many aspects of school
How do I deal with a highly capable 17-year-old girl who does not want to go to school? She seems to be suffering from very high anxiety levels and is stressed about many aspects of school, such as being asked a question by the teachers or being asked to read aloud in class, etc.
We encourage her to attend school, but it does not always work and often ends up with her in tears and staying at home. Even when she does leave the car to go in, you can see how stressed she is. We feel bad, like we are sending her into the lion’s den. When she comes home she is often wrecked by the stress and has to go to bed. When we talk to the teachers, they don’t seem to notice her stress and just see her as a quiet girl in the class.
Another thing is that she does not have too many friends in school – her best two friends are her cousin and another girl she knows for years from ballet. She loves holidays and is much happier during the school breaks. For example, we just had a great Christmas with her, but as the school reopening date approached her stress levels really increased.WhatsApp groups are like Hotel California ...
This gives her some self-control and avoids a tearful journey to school where she finally decides not to go in under extreme stress. In arranging a reduced schedule it is important to give your daughter a cover story that she feels able to communicate to peers about her absences. This can be simply be that she is prone to fatigue or sickness and needs time off to recuperate.Whatever you decide, it is important to talk through options with your daughter.
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