“I couldn’t move simply between things in my home, struggled to find things, and regularly found myself feeling short of breath and anxious about what I was going home to.”
Ultimately, I realised I wasn’t just someone with a love of clothes; I was someone for whom things were causing distress and distraction. That’s the key difference between collecting and hoarding, I think. I couldn’t move simply between things in my home, struggled to find things, and regularly found myself feeling short of breath and anxious about what I was going home to.
When I moved back to Plymouth, despite the sale, the amount of stuff I brought with me horrified my loved ones. I knew I couldn’t hide behind my collection anymore; I was squandering my precious time. I started seeing a psychotherapist who helped me to make more sense of my motivations for shopping. I realised that I wasn’t putting my energy into the things that would really get me to where I wanted to be. I started using my spare time to write, giving myself space for exploration.
I still have an appreciation for beautiful things, but I have hugely curbed my shopping. I’m planning another sale in the autumn and will put the money I make into going on writing retreats and fostering other spaces in which I can create. In 2021, I was deeply honoured to be named Plymouth Laureate of Words, the first playwright and woman in the role. I don’t feel so defined by what I own anymore, and the more I write, the more my confidence grows. I’ve also been emboldened to try other things.
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