'There’s no one-size fits all approach to grief. But as my second Christmas without my mum approaches I feel well placed to offer some practical advice.' A writer who lost her mum last year shares her coping mechanisms for the holidays.
, in the hope of bringing some comfort to those who are facing the festive season without a parent for the first time.. In fact, it’s a total minefield. How can you communicate your grief, when everyone around you is in party mode? Are the rest of your family OK? Where are you evenThey’re all questions that you hope you’ll never need to ask. But someday, they might impose themselves on you – and you will need answers..
How can we avoid such miscommunication? Practicality is vital. Be clear on what everyone’s plans are over Christmas, especially if family members are scattered around the country and long journeys are required. Double check when you’re supposed to be seeing people. Triple check. Be aware of absent-mindedness, which can manifest when people are grieving.Of course, communication goes deeper than practical misunderstandings.
Coping with grief at Christmas: buy a Christmas present for yourself. Make it something that you’d have bought for the person you’ve lost In my family, our Christmas day used to start with croissants and dressing gowns in our living room, with wintery light flooding in through the French windows. Last year it started with veggie sausages in a Premier Inn, which later made me throw up . This could have been utterly depressing, if I let myself compare. I tried not to.
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