'The capacity to learn enables us to have hope that we will get through a tough time, even if that hope is merely a glimmer,' explains drlamia
), attack-other behaviors , and attack-self responses . Thus, rather than recognize that we are grieving, we might believe that we are simply angry, fearful, or may want to be left alone.
We can ask ourselves, “How do I respond to situations where the outcome is negative and beyond my control?” Affect theorist Silvan Tomkins referred to situations in which something happens outside of one’s control and the outcome cannot be changed, due to physical death or a value death, as a limitation-remediation script.
The capacity to learn enables us to have hope that we will get through a tough time, even if that hope is merely a glimmer. Hope does not extinguish grief, but it can take our memories with us to better or different future places . We may focus on the past—upon memories when things were different. However,is also an adaptive mechanism that informs our present and future.
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