Tell Me About It: ‘My family tell me to go and make new friends, but it is not easy in my mid-30s’
I’ve moved back to Ireland, having spent a good few years living abroad, and I am very frustrated with my friend group. When I moved away, I felt I was on the verge of becoming alcoholic, so I was determined that I would change my life, and I did. I lived in a place where everyone is interested in a healthy lifestyle, and it was normal not to have alcohol in every social setting.
This is really causing me a lot of distress. My family tell me to go and make new friends, but it is not easy at my age and I’ve had to put so much effort into this when I was abroad that I don’t want to do it again. I can feel the pull of the drink again, too. I know I like it too much, and my friends tell me how much craic I am with a few on me.
like you with drink? It sounds from your letter that you really don’t, and maybe it is time to stand up for that. Real friendship happens when some level of difficulty is faced with honesty and people still turn up for each other. Have you been honest about your past difficulty withIdeally you could tell them and get their support. There are a number of outcomes possible.
There has been a slow and steady change in Ireland towards social events that are less focused on alcohol, so that there really are lots of alternative options available, from board game pubs to singles running clubs and late opening coffee shops. Perhaps you could initiate change by organising to meet for an activity and delay or shorten the time in the pub, then gradually implement a change.
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