I Can’t Shut Up About the Oscars’ Swag Bags

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I Can’t Shut Up About the Oscars’ Swag Bags
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We have all been so consumed by the Slap discourse, it seems we’ve forgotten what awards shows are really about: swag bags

Photo-Illustration: The Cut; Photo: 3d PR & Marketing . The Oscars’ swag bags are their own genre of extravagance, their own tier of unnecessary opulence. And all I want to do is peek inside like a child trying to see what her mother is cooking. No, no! These are for the guests.

There’s $10,000 worth of “rejuvenation procedures” from a plastic surgeon. There’s a $1,000 life-coaching session with a wellness expert. There’s a $15,000 four-night stay for two at a luxury spa, a $95 chai-tea box, and over $1,000 worth of skin-care products. Haha, my stomach hurts! Of course, you don’t get a bag simply for attending the Oscars. You’re not even guaranteed a bag if you’re a nominee. This year’s “Everyone Wins” bag was given to 28 guests: 25 nominees in the top acting and directing categories and the three hosts. Will Smith got a bag. Chris Rock did not.

While the Academy used to sponsor the swag bags, Distinctive Assets’ bags are not officially affiliated with the Oscars or the Academy. This was a point of contention between the Academy and Distinctive Assets, as the Academy didn’t want to seem like it was endorsing free vibrators and liposuction.

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