'I call this the 'Yes, but' method, which acknowledges that something isn't going well but fills in the blank with something that is going well.'
Behavioral therapy suggests that thoughts relate directly to how we feel, which then dictates how we act. So the idea that we can replace some of our negative self-talk with more positive thoughts is good, because when our mood changes, so can our behaviors.
For example, complete positive statements like,"I'm going to have the best day ever," when you have had a bad morning may not be helpful. I would advise you to change statements as such to,"Yes, I had a bad morning, but, I will put something in place to make my day better." The reason why this client had given up on her New Year's resolutions was that she encountered a few barriers along the way. So we talked about this and how she could use affirmations more effectively.
I asked her to write down her contingency plan in the form of an"If, then" statement like so:"If X barrier comes up, I will then do Y after." This trained her to be more realistic and find small ways around achieving her goals. Taking small steps is key, so she trained herself to understand that a five-minute routine is better than not exercising at all.Getty Images
I had a client who believed that he was supposed to be happy at all times because he thought that his life was pretty good in comparison to other people, which made him feel like he had to be thankful all the time.
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