I Have Decided It’s Time to Throw a Sex Party. There’s Just One Problem.

Dear How to Do It: I’m not sure what the rules are here.

m a gay man in my mid-40s and have recently celebrated my twentieth anniversary with the most wonderful man I have ever known, who is in his mid-50s. I feel so incredibly lucky and grateful to have this man as family, though I struggle all day, every day with guilt, shame, and the feeling that I do not deserve the wonderful life that my partner, “D,” has shared with me.

About ten years ago, I started dissociating in ways that incapacitated me cognitively and physically. It turns out I had PTSD from surviving conversion therapy and 15 years of severe abuse from parents and the church community.ve been very sex-positive for most of my adult life, and my partner and I enjoyed a healthy and fulfilling sex life until I got sick, though I was always the one to take the lead and communicate. D is less communicative. Over time we slowly stopped talking about sex.

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