I genuinely believed that reducing my carbon output and practicing sustainability would save the Earth
Photo-Illustration: by the Cut; Photos: Getty Images In 2017, Lauren Singer, better known as @trashisfortossers, posted a YouTube video in which she showed every piece of trash she had used over the past four years. It all fit into a single 16-ounce Mason jar. She was living zero-waste, which at that time — my senior year of high school — was unheard of. Or at least, well outside the mainstream.
My mom, who grew up on a cattle farm in Minnesota, was displeased, to put it lightly. My parents had indoctrinated the idea that a glass of milk with dinner made for strong bones, and until I was a teenager, I drank one every night. I remember once, after a volleyball game, my teammate’s mom brought food for everyone. She turned to me and said, “I didn’t bring you a snack, but there’s some grass outside.
A youth-led climate strike near City Hall on December 6, 2019 in New York City. Photo: Scott Heins/Getty Images Youth-led movements were everywhere, as March for Our Lives had emerged in response to the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School shooting. I witnessed my peers rally behind the most racially diverse selection of 2020 Democratic candidates, featuring six women and the first openly gay candidate, as they fought for the presidential nomination.
I spent so long interrogating my personal actions that I began to resent the very things I once enjoyed, the values that once kept me going. I avoided late-night pizza with my friends, even when I wanted to eat a slice, because the guilt I felt after was too overwhelming. I pouted in the corner at Zara and Urban Outfitters while my friends browsed. I spent hours in vintage stores looking for something I knew I wanted from & Other Stories .
At this point, Lauren Singer has been living zero-waste for ten years. Somehow, she remains optimistic. She said what I expected someone in the sustainability business to say, shared banal platitudes on optimism and change. But she also managed to provide me with validation, if not comfort: “It’s okay to be burned-out. It’s okay to feel shitty. It makes perfect sense.” Then she asked me, “What do you want to see?” It caught me off guard.
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