‘My lawyer recommends that I don’t sign a prenuptial agreement and don’t get married under these conditions.’
Dear Quentin, I am 62 and about to remarry. I have significant assets. My attorney recommended a prenuptial agreement to my fiancée and has offered sound estate-planning advice. I recently purchased a house and placed my fiancée, 56, on the title as joint owner with rights of survivorship. I put $600,000 down with a $192,000 mortgage, which my fiancée paid off.
Is there anything I can do at this point? My lawyer recommends that I don’t sign a prenuptial agreement and don’t get married under these conditions.Dear Perplexed, This is a case of puppy syndrome. Once you give somebody something that gives them a feeling of security and happiness, it’s very hard to take it back.
In the early stages of a relationship, particularly with the excitement of planning a wedding and envisioning a perfectly happy life together, it’s very easy to put romance ahead of finance. We idealize our partner and may have unrealistically glamorous and dreamy expectations of the life that lies ahead.
Your fiancée has taken a tough stance. She is now playing the role of the business partner. That makes sense from her perspective: Why would she give you back that 25% share if she is under no legal obligation to do so? You have officially exited the romantic phase of your relationship and crash-landed into the real world.
You have worked hard and your children deserve their share of your estate, if that is your wish. If your fiancée does not accept that, you have some soul-searching to do. On the upside, if you do manage to negotiate a way forward that satisfies both parties, it’s a good exercise for navigating the rest of your marriage.
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