Ask Roe: We would often talk in work, and at work events, we would spend the evening together. It got to a point where we would sometimes even go for coffee or a drink outside of work
'This situation has made work quite challenging for me now; the man in question will no longer speak to me'. Photograph: Stock/GettyI started a new job a couple of months ago, and I found myself having a strong attraction to a man in the office. We would often talk together in work, and at work events, we would always spend the evening together. It got to a point where we would sometimes even go for coffee or a drink outside of work together, and were frequently texting.
I say this because from your own description of your dynamic with this man, there was never any indication that he was pursuing something romantic with you. Getting on well, hanging out at work events, texting, and grabbing the occasional coffee are all the actions of friends and friendly work colleagues, and nothing indicates there was anything particularly flirtatious or romantic happening. I suspect that was there ever anything more explicit that you would have included those details here.
By your own description, the reason you felt a strong connection to this man isn’t based in his actions, but in your own desire for attention and romance. Let me be clear: that desire is completely natural. We all want to connect with others and feel loved. But it sounds like your desire for a romantic connection generally led you to latch on to the platonic attention you were receiving from this man and build it up in your head until you were projecting romantic intentions on to a friendship.
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