If Someone Is Typing, Then Stops … Can I Ask Why?

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If Someone Is Typing, Then Stops … Can I Ask Why?
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WIRED’s spiritual advice columnist on textual etiquette, self-expression, and information overload.

Self-expression has not always been deemed an absolute virtue. The duty to speak the truth does not mean that every truth should be uttered, and it's possible, even, that there's an inverse relationship between maundering and meaning. “Words are like leaves and where they most abound, much fruit of sense beneath is rarely found,” Alexander Pope wrote in his 1709 “Essay on Criticism.

I'm not going to tell you that you should never ask what someone was about to say. The contexts are too multiple for uniform advice, and part of the work of social life involves identifying the communication styles of others, considering their motives, and diligently reading between the lines—skills that were once known, simply, as listening. I will, however, ask you to consider that the unsent text might be a blessing.

At the risk of veering into the abstract, I'll conclude by reminding you that information, in its truest and most technical sense, depends on a process of elimination. Each time we speak, or type a sentence into our messaging app, we are not only choosing specific words but, more importantly, excluding all the words we could have chosen. This was the crucial insight that led Claude Shannon to create information theory, the framework that is responsible for the entirety of the digital age.

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