Searching for an idealized soulmate often leads to disappointment and heartbreak. Here's what you really need to build a happy and healthy long-term relationship.
So, put the idea of finding a soulmate on the shelf and turn to something more helpful—a strategy that is more likely to lead to real romance with someone who is the right, if imperfect, fit for you. This approach requires that you identify the half dozen or so qualities that a spouse would absolutely have to possess: qualities you cannot live without. Write these characteristics down on a piece of paper. But don't stop just yet.
After you’ve completed this list, it’s time to write another. Don't neglect this step. It's just as important as the last list, but it is aimed in the opposite direction. Jot down those personal attributes that you absolutely, 100 percent, without a doubt, do not want in a romantic partner. There are some items on this list you will feel comfortable writing down, especially if most people would agree with you.
Now you have a helpful list with two columns. It contains personal qualities that include those in the “Must Have” category and another set of qualities that can be described as “Must Not Have.” Much more helpful is a clear understanding of the important characteristics a person needs to have for you to build an intimate and happy life with him or her.
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