Couples are often warned never to go to bed angry, and research shows that arguments can worsen sleep. But rushing to make up before bed may not be much better. Here’s why.
. The relationship between conflict and sleep disturbance was not as strong for those higher in attachment avoidance compared to those with lower attachment avoidance. Conversely, those with higher attachment anxiety showed a stronger relationship between conflict and disruptions. This may be because for highly anxious individuals the conflict may be very arousing.
It is important to note that the researchers found that even amongst the avoidant individuals who reported feeling fine the morning after a fight, they still demonstrated physiological issues relating to sleep. Therefore, even though they reported being okay, they were still affected. Hicks and Diamond note that with regard to the adage “don’t go to bed angry” they may have found “… elements of truth, although such notions must, of course, devote greaterto between‐person variability in men's and women's responses to routine conflict, and also the multiple domains in which the ramifications of conflict can be discerned."
Reversing this relationship, Gordon and Chen examined the effect of sleep on relationship conflict in two different studies. They found that participants reported more conflict following a night of poor sleep and that conflict resolution was more effective when both partners were rested. If either partner had slept poorly, they had more trouble understanding their partner's feelings and resolving a problem.
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