Once I even provided my own tea bag, but my hostess gave me only hot tap water.
The etiquette rule that prevents guests from asking for things not offered is not absolute.
You can ask if there is pepper when offered salt. You can ask for mustard when there is ketchup. And you can ask for tea when there is coffee — without, please, offering your own tea bag. Miss Manners also allows guests to ask for water so long as they do not tell us about the pills they are taking, and for the bathroom so long as they do not tell us why they need one.
In all such cases, the question should be phrased apologetically, and a negative answer received gracefully. In no case should the guests offer their own solutions — although, in the bathroom example, they may need to apologize for an early, hasty departure.I have a good friend who always interrupts me in a conversation. I don’t think I’ve ever completed a sentence around her! Then she proceeds to tell me she has a brother, cousin, neighbor, etc.
If you assume an attentive, beatific, static and, above all, silent smile , she will lose interest and either wander off or ask what you think of what she just said.This eventually works on even the wildest humans, which Miss Manners knows from having spent a great deal of time observing them in their natural habitat. Not having spent much time in the woods, she makes no similar claim about actual wild animals, no matter how chatty they may be.
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