Miss Manners: It’s embarrassing when they think I’m hitting on them

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Miss Manners: It’s embarrassing when they think I’m hitting on them
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I just want to be friends but I end up making awkward mistakes.

What are the proper manners for pursuing adult friendships?: Group settings tend to be much more conducive to putting acquaintances at ease than one-on-ones — which do lend themselves to more intimate implications.

“I am having a get together/outing/party and I would love for you to come” is a way to ease into a new friendship. Then, if you get a dubious look, Miss Manners suggests that you add reassurance by saying, “Of course, if you have a partner, bring that person, too.”: My mother-in-law has a habit of inviting me to expensive outings when we visit her, and then leaving me the bill.

She has taken me to her exclusive salon to have her hairdresser trim and style my hair, which cost well over $100. She’s also “given me” a massage, which cost me another hundred and tip. Then she wanted to take me bra shopping, to which I passed, because I knew it’d be $200+ to get out of there. I really enjoyed the trip to her salon, but would never go there on my own . She insisted on bringing me there, so shouldn’t she pay the bill?

Whenever I have invited her to my salon, I have paid for both of us. I really can’t afford her type of outings.: Then do not accept. Now that you know the game, Miss Manners suggests that you avoid such outings, countering with a more reasonable one of your own, or offering to meet up afterwards.

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