Morbius really is one of the worst Marvel movies ever. Our review:
was released into theaters on April 1, so I have to ask: Are we sure it isn’t some kind of elaborate April Fools’ Day prank? At the very least, it feels like one. There are very few times in my life I have seen a film this poorly performed, this awkwardly written, this obviously taken apart and reconstructed in the editing room. It may be about a vampire but it feels more like the work of a cinematic Dr.
Then Morbius gets obsessed with vampire bats and their unique ability to metabolize blood. He collects a swarm of vampire bats and then heads out into international waters — literally, a title card onscreen reads “INTERNATIONAL WATERS” — and he injects himself with a vampire bat serum. You’ll never guess what happens to him next.Okay, so you already know what happens; Morbius becomes a kind of superhero vampire.
These broad strokes sound sensible on paper, but words do not adequately capture just how sloppy and disorganized seems to have cut the context, nuance, and character development out of every scene until all that was left was stunts, action, and Leto and Smith in CGI vampire makeup hissing at each other. Jared Harris, for example, is barely in the movie; if his doctor character ever served a larger purpose in the story, it’s long gone.
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