Tell Me About It: My sibling and l are petrified something horrible is going to happen
My question is what do we do? My father has clearly stated he does not want to address it, but then again it does take people in an abusive relationship a long time to save themselves.There may be some merit in demonstrating how to seek and avail of help in your family. You are suffering from anxiety that is directly related to your upbringing, and particularly to the suicide attempt of your parents, and this not only needs professional attention but could also be a way to creating some change.
You ask whether change is possible for people in their 60s. The answer is yes, although the patterns of a lifetime can be entrenched and difficult to shift, particularly when some aspect of the pattern brings positive things. Your family have managed to stay together and clearly there is love and care going on, and these things are positive, but the habits that hold it together are damaging and dangerous.
This needs to be supported professionally and a fully qualified and trained family therapist can assist with this. You might try to make this step to seek help known to your family so that the harmful pattern of suffering helplessly is challenged. The added advantage of working with a family therapist is that they will be open to inviting members of your family into the therapy space, and this is where real healing can happen, if they are open to it.
Your family needs someone to break the tradition of inaction and silence and, as you have decided that the suffering is intolerable, use this as the push to reach out for help and, at the very least, offer yourself the chance of healing.
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