'She refused to let doctors hospitalise me.'
‘Love is always conditional and depends on performance, achievements and personal sacrifice. Love and affection are only used for manipulation and emotional blackmail, and they can and will be withdrawn or withheld at will to punish perceived shortcomings.’
‘It is absolutely vital to implement and enforce solid boundaries,’ she adds. ‘This in reality can be much easier said than done, as someone who grew up in a narcissistic family is conditioned to be unable to set boundaries.‘It’s also important to understand that people only do what they can get away with it, so setting boundaries may put a stop to that much easier than one thought.’
She says: ‘”Blood is thicker than water” does not apply. There is no excuse or justification for abusive behaviour – family or not – and it is absolutely OK to walk away from ‘So he just basically kicked them out of the house, and he said: “We don’t want anything to do with you anymore, you’re out of our lives. It’s over.”‘
In addition to setting boundaries and potentially going no-contact, Ronia also suggests working on healing yourself. After Bethany’s suicide attempt, she wound up in a daycare programme for her mental health. It was a therapist there who first suggested that her turmoil was down to her relationship with her mother and helped her work through rebuilding a relationship with her dad.
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