My older sister was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. Looking back, the childhood signs of hyperactivity, impulsivity, and internalized shame were so obvious.
My older sister, Marie, wishes that she knew she had ADHD when she was in elementary or middle school. It would have reduced a lot of the confusion, poor self-esteem, and bad mojo that she schlepped around like a big, bulky, burdensome sack. If we knew what ADHD really was back in the 1980s, and my sister knew she had it, she thinks she would have had a much easier time in life.
“I think I would have been kinder to myself and had more self-compassion,” she told me. “And Mom wouldn’t have been mad at me all the time.”as extroverted, exuberant, athletic, impulsive, messy, vocal, brash, forgetful, mercurial, feisty, and smart, but scattered. She was a talented and gifted student but didn’t usually have the grades to match — though she pulled epic all-nighters and could get those grades up when the heat was on.
She played all the sports, and excelled at all of them, despite constantly breaking her bones and needing all manner of casts due to her ballsy plays. She gravitated toward friends who were exceptionally fun, but not exceptionally grounded or studious. She lived life loudly and to the fullest and often on the edge, which I found intriguing and admirable. If she was the life of the party, I was the partially alive person on life support in the corner.
Although she seemed happy through my little-sister lens, I couldn’t deny that my sister was always in trouble. My exasperated single mom was often in some sort of intense negotiation with her about chores, grades, or behavior. We saw lots of drama, struggle, and strife under our roof.And while my sister may have been a riot, the outward cheerfulness and perkiness that she exuded was just the tip of the visible iceberg.
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