For this week's AreUComing, UnhappyFem went NSFW — literally: 'The NSFW sexquarters are located in a third-floor loft on Broadway, and when I walk in, I’m greeted by something they call a “nymph” — in this case, a doe-eyed, half-naked hot girl'
Crucify me, daddy. Photo: Adam Bailey Last week, I stumbled across a weirder-than-usual invite for a sex party called Eostre, which read, “Long before Easter became synonymous with the return of Christ, it was the festival of Eostre, a Germanic goddess of the dawn. A celebration for the return of the sun, the festival is noted for signs of birth.
11:01 p.m. | While a clubby remix of Kate Bush’s “Running Up That Hill” plays over the speakers , the guests start to arrive in costumes I suspect most of them purchased today. For the most part, everyone is a perfectly normal-attractive millennial — like the people you shuffle past at Trader Joe’s or see on work Zooms.
11:59 p.m. | When Gay Aaron asks me, “Do you get to participate, or do you only get to observe?,” I almost forget my straight boy. Then I realize he’s talking about yet another icebreaker: an adult-size, foot-long Jenga set on the coffee table that apparently features naughty commandments on every block. We recruit the virgin, the bunny, straight Aaron, and some other newbies to join us. I did not have “board games” on my sex-party Bingo card for tonight.
12:57 a.m. | I end up talking to the nymph at the door, who tells me she’s here because “I decided that I wanted to live my best slutty life, and this seemed like a good place to start.” Outside NSFW, she’s a full-time sex worker, mostly “fetish work in midtown and dominatrix stuff downtown.” Does the service actually correspond to the neighborhood, I ask? “Honey. There are some fucking feet freaks in midtown. These business guys? These finance bros? They are smoking crack and sucking on toes.
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