Carolyn Hax: As holidays loom over bad relationships, do you break up or stick it out?
Either you’re the person who gets dumped on Thanksgiving, or you’re the person who gets dumped the week after Thanksgiving and realizes the whole long holiday weekend with your shmoopie was a pity charade. There’s no good answer. If you have a breakup coming, then think carefully about what you’d want and your soon-to-be-ex would want before deciding what day it arrives.Promptly. Please. It’s the help that matters, not how you get it.
Anyway. The fastest way to get over someone you want who doesn't want you back is to want something else besides pining. Two of the best feelings in the world are 1. to want your own company foremost, and to be pleasantly enhanced by whatever you get beyond that; and 2. to have good people in your life who want to be there. The “someone” you refer to gives you neither.
So, summon whatever of your attention is under your control , and shine it on those two things: finding more ways to enjoy your own company, and finding more people who enjoy your company.How can I let go of missed opportunities from my past? Appreciate the new opportunities you have, thanks to missing those other ones. Don't like the opportunities you have? Then work toward better ones. Dwelling on missed opportunities only extends your losses. Futures can be reshaped; pasts can only be reframed.At this point? Yes. Critical thinking skills count.Drama needs an audience. This is you from now on: “Interesting, thanks.” “Interesting, thanks.” “Interesting, thanks.” Row after row after row of empty velvet seats.
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