+34
Refusal to attend school is rarely a straightforward matter
There is a particular kind of exhaustion that belongs to the parents of children who cannot go to school. It is the exhaustion of watching a person you love being unable to do something as ordinary as walk through a gate..
More anxiety crept in before coming to a head on the first day of second year. Eoghan was sitting in the car, pulling at his shirt and tie, turning bright red, struggling to breathe and suffering a panic attack.
“I took him home and that was the start of it,” she says. Months and years passed while O’Riordan tried to work out ways to support him. , but O’Riordan says his referrals from the GP were rejected three times. This was because it was “just panic” and “not severe enough for the service”.
With help from a psychotherapist uncle, Eoghan slowly recovered to sit a reduced, in which he passed three subjects.
“I told him to take the win . . . he had been through so much,” says O’Riordan. Determined to help him find his way, the extended family have watched Eoghan recover.
This has been facilitated by a flexible approach that has helped him navigate his way back. This year, he passed his motorcycle test and he now drives himself to Youthreach, a national education and training programme for 15- to 20-year-olds who have left mainstream education.
‘At least I’m not English’ – How Rory McIlroy and Lee Westwood have traded insults down the yearsTesco worker sacked for taking bakery items before they became ‘free to staff’ loses unfair dismissal claim Eoghan’s story is a hopeful one and an indication that with the right support and therapeutic response, a child’s crisis can resolve. “When a person doesn’t go to work, we don’t call it work avoidance, work phobic disorder or work refusal,” says Alan Oates, a psychotherapist from Marino Counselling in Dublin.
He has developed an intervention model for children who are struggling with the school environment.
“We pathologise it for children but we don’t for adults,” he says. “And yet, children are like adults, just younger and smaller. Our brains can’t differentiate between a principal shouting at us and a bear chasing us. ” There are no figures for the number of Irish children who are unable to attend school because of anxiety.
However, the latest attendance data from Tusla, the child and family agency, shows more than one in five primary and secondary school children missed more than 20 days of school in the 2023/2024 year.
“It’s telling us adults that there is something wrong in their life and we need to really listen and find a way to support them. ” Every child in crisis needs the same basic things: to be believed, to be understood, to have someone actually assess what is happening rather than simply demanding attendance, says Oates. Nessa Hill’s daughter used to run for the climbing frame every morning until a change of rules removed that option.
“There were even more rigid rules and sanctions imposed, to the point that my child just became incapable of being in the classroom” says Hill, who is chief executive of Neurodiversity Ireland. Hill rejects outright the term “school avoidance”.
“It’s definitely better to talk about school distress or school breakdown, because school avoidance says it’s the child avoiding the school. ” She argues the classroom has not been examined the way any other workplace would be.
“We haven’t stood back and critically analysed our education system to say, ‘why are we asking 30 children to pile into one room and sit facing a board, on uncomfortable seats with harsh lighting and too much noise and total overload of the senses? ’.
” When Hill sought help, she says the education welfare officer options amounted to: get her daughter back into school, arrange home tuition or find a place in an independent school 90 minutes away at a cost of €10,000 a year. Hill, who is neurodivergent, is passionate about education.
“I’m a practising barrister. I believe in education. I am as highly educated as you can be. I want that for my children.
” Michele Van Valey, a neurodivergent psychotherapist who teaches mindfulness in schools, explains why she believes the standard fix of daily exposure and building tolerance through repetition collapses for children like Hill’s daughter.
“If a child is having a traumatic experience in school, you want them to face that same trauma over and over to build resilience,” she says. “But that often does not work. ” She is blunt about what the goal actually is: “We’re not trying to keep them happy, we’re trying to keep them functional and out in the world with their peers. ” Who should be doing the adapting, then?
“The adults need to figure out a way to meet the kids where they are,” says Van Valey. O’Riordan’s younger son Cillian , who is autistic, was separated from his established friend group when his class was shuffled, she says. This created enormous stress and he was crying every day. O’Riordan says an education welfare officer arrived after 20 days’ absence and the use of the word “school” sent him screaming from the room.
“I didn’t need to explain what I was dealing with . . . I took my own approach again with him and stopped pushing.
I told him every day to just do his best,” she says. A turnaround came when he was moved into a properly resourced autism class.
“It’s worth it,” says O’Riordan of the 27km round-trip. “He is happy but it’s not an option for many parents. That is not right. ” The Department of Education last month published its implementation plan for the review of the Education for Persons with Special Educational Needs Act.
The Government has called it a “clear roadmap” towards inclusive education and aims to address areas including curriculum design, staff training, resource allocation, and the wellbeing and inclusion of students. Some campaigners say it lacks statutory student-support plans and independent mediation, both of which have been deferred to separate legislation. Parents and campaign groups such as Neurodiversity Ireland argue these children are not broken.
Hill says: “We’re looking at all these children in crisis; it’s the system that is in crisis. That is what needs to change. ”Restricted courses: It’s difficult when everyone around you is going, ‘oh, you’ll get in’Tesco worker sacked for taking bakery items before they became ‘free to staff’ loses unfair dismissal claimParakeets have Londoners in a flap and hunters loading their rifles
Ireland Latest News, Ireland Headlines
Similar News: You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Back-to-school A-Z: Why it costs parents so much and how to spend lessTo hard-pressed parents, it can feel as if extra busyness and unnecessary expense are intentionally built into the start of the school year
Read more »
Meet the nepo parentsCelebrity examples abound, but more ordinary people are following their children into new midlife careers
Read more »
Burnout Among School Principals Soars Amid Increased Demand for Special ClassesA recent study reveals that 85% of school principals in Ireland are experiencing moderate to high levels of personal-related burnout, with work-related burnout affecting 86%. The increased demand for special classes in mainstream schools, particularly at the primary level, is a key factor contributing to this burnout. Principals are overwhelmed by heavy workloads, unrealistic expectations, and the challenges of organizing special educational needs provision. The long hours and lack of adequate mental health supports have left many principals feeling unlikely to continue in their roles.
Read more »
How PLC Courses Helped Lana Dowling Build a Future After Struggling at SchoolLana Dowling experienced severe anxiety, bullying and poor attendance throughout secondary school, missing more than 120 days by fourth year. After feeling lost and isolated, she found that further education and PLC courses offered the support, confidence and direction needed to shape her future.
Read more »