She also reveals she likely won't be able to carry her own children in the future -- adding, 'however I'm meant to have them, I will'
She explained that she would sometimes spend days in bed with depression and even contemplated suicide -- saying,"I thought the world would be better if I wasn't there" -- before swinging in the other direction, believing she needed to buy all her friends cars.
Gomez said her depression would be compounded by being single --"I grew up thinking I would be married at 25. It wrecked me that I was nowhere near that" -- and feeling envious of other celebrities for how they were able to handle fame."I never fit in with a cool group of girls that were celebrities.
She shared that in 2018 she started hearing voices that eventually, as Rolling Stone put it,"drowned out more and more of the real world," triggering a psychotic break. At the time she thought everyone was out to get her, stifled by paranoia and unrecognizable to her friends. It was then she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and put on a litany of medications that left her feeling just"gone." Following her release, she got a new psychiatrist who worked on reducing the meds.
"But I had to detox, essentially, from the medications I was on. I had to learn how to remember certain words. I would forget where I was when we were talking," she explained."It took a lot of hard work for me to accept that I was bipolar, but learn how to deal with it because it wasn’t going to go away."
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